Jade Goody – what did we expect? [22.01.07]
By Dave Green
I find myself unsurprised by most things that happen these days…a smattering of rain, the country grinds to a halt…a couple of bombs around the world, George Bush invades anyone that will have him…one MP goes gay, next there all at it like rabbits with men, boys and cheeky girls!
However, one thing above all others sticks out in my mind as being so blatantly obvious and expected that I wonder why the whole country is so flabbergasted….
…NEWS FLASH Jade Goody is an uneducated, fat, racist waster.
Why is the entire UK surprised by this revelation? She started off as an accidental celebrity, whose status was elevated by the good old British ‘working class girl done good’ mentality.
We all laughed when she showed her “kebab” on telly and exposed her fascination with Eskimos. We all thought ‘good on yer’ when she launched her own range of smellies. We felt slightly uncomfortable, but occasionally tuned into the fly-on-the-wall series on how she took her legendary stupidity into the business arena.
But please God, tell me how we act with such amazement at the fact that under all the beautifully manicured appearance and multi-million pound image consultant’s work, there is a common-as-muck, thick Fascist trying to masquerade as the nation’s favourite.
I still can’t work out whether her appearance in the Celebrity BB house is ironic or just perverse. But when she walked in, did we shower love on her, sing with her, cry ‘good on yer’? Did we hell. We shouted ‘she’s got the same agent as Davina and they were obviously struggling for guests, because they didn’t stop with Jade’. For good measure we got her waste of space boyfriend and disabled lesbian mother (caveat: I’m not homophobic, I think lesbians – especially in pairs - are a great invention).
Her behaviour in the house has shown her up in a way usually impossible in these modern times of agents and publicists. They removed the veil and she has really self-destructed. I only hope she gets what she deserves. The focus for her vengeful rants was a Bollywood actress no one had heard of but apparently renowned as a bit of a diva. How ironic that she behaves like a decent human being and rises above all the rubbish.
All that’s left to be said is good riddance Miss Goody. I hope you enjoy working in Asda and your boobs don’t explode causing you blood poisoning!
Oh yes. If they do explode could they do so in the eyes of Jo from S-Club causing her prolonged bouts of blindness.
Cheers
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I like lesbians too Dave!
Captain Beeday
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